February love letters to the editor

Dear Editor,

Barry, Barry, Barry. Boy did you step in a pile of it this time. Abolish Black History Month? It’s already the shortest month of the year and you and people like you want to take that away from us… You were right about one thing. Nobody but you and Clarence Thomas would say we don’t need Black History Month.

J.K.

Dear Editor,

I knew you were a closet a Republican. After reading that b.s. about ending Black History Month, I know it more than ever. You remind me of someone who doesn’t want to know anything about your history. You have written some stupid stuff before, but this is too stupid even for you. All I can do is pray that the scales will be removed from your eyes so you can see clearly what is happening in this world. Now is not the time to be ending Black History Month. If anything, we should add another month. Or two.

D.L.

Dear D.L.,

Why not add ELEVEN more months. That would make BHM a year ’round event – which is the point I tried to make in that column. Alas, apparently I failed to make it clearly enough for you.

Me

Dear Editor,

My husband and I have been trying to figure out if you are a liberal or a conservative. We have been reading your column for years – he sometimes reads it to me while I’m getting ready for work or drinking my morning coffee - and sometimes it makes me so damned mad. How can you even suggest ending BHM when now is the time we need to know about our history more than ever? What the $%#& did they teach you in the Rockingham public schools? Oh, I know. That George Washington confessed that he cut down the apple tree because he was so honest.

P.G.

Dear P.G.,

Why yes, that is precisely what they taught us. Only in Rockingham, we were taught it was a cherry tree, not an apple tree. My cynical six-year-old self found it hard to believe even then, though, because I quickly discovered that honesty wasn’t always the best policy - especially when you were running around confessing to mischief you hadn’t actually committed simply because you thought that was noble.

Dear Editor,

You know you are only giving comfort to the enemy when you say we should abolish BHM. Where is the column where you want to abolish WHITE History Month? Sometimes it’s your own people.

Dear Editor,

Please stop trying to politicize history with woke propaganda. Remember to condemn Africa’s brutal history of slavery and crime and murder.

Martin Luther King.

Dear Readers:

This was NOT written by Martin Luther King, but by someone so afraid to even provide his initials that he created a burner online account.

Dear Editor,

Even the most melanin-deficient old peckerwood in High Point knows Ronnie Baker played bass for Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes.

M.H.

Dear Editor,

How is America and the world ever going to get past these foolish divisions if people like you keep writing about them and bringing them up? I’ve always said if you can’t be a part of the solution you shouldn’t be a part of the problem. How is writing about Black History Month part of the solution for what’s wrong with America? America, love it or leave it.

A.G.