Hey Joe, How about calling now that you've got our vote and money?


I... I feel so used, so cheap.

For a few weeks I was - and if you've paid your phone bill, you were, too - among the most popular people in America as political candidates bombarded North Carolina registered voters with unsolicited emails, texts and telephone calls, you know, just to check on us, to see how our mama and nem were doing and ask if they could count on our vote and a campaign donation.

Not gonna lie: as someone whose phone usually only rings when it's someone trying to sell me burial insurance or a neighbor telling me to turn down the volume on my Teddy Pendergrass greatest hits album, I felt suddenly popular when Chad from Elizabeth Warren's campaign called to make sure I got to the polls on or before Super Tuesday.

And Karen was the personification of sincerity when she called to remind me that Bernie really needs my support. "Hi, Barry," she said, sounding so familiar that I briefly thought we used to sit at the same table in the high school cafeteria. "Are you in for Bernie?"

Ol' Kyle was very believable when he informed me - via text - that Joe Biden was counting on me. He even told me where my polling station was and what time it closes.

Why, I swear, after talking to other North Carolina residents and comparing their experience to mine, it was almost as though we Tar Heel voters were the belles of the ball. Everyone, it seemed, cared about us.

Alas, the clock has struck 7:30 p.m. - which is when the polls closed on the Democratic primary - and the ball has ended.

No more unsolicited calls, no more texts inquiring about how we're doing.