More love letters to the editor

Dear Editor,

I read your little story criticizing Bruce Springsteen for the price of his concert tickets. The last time I looked, it was a free country and nobody is making you go see The Boss. I don't think he'll miss you, but I will be there to see him. Go see Luther Vandross and or some Hip Hop and leave The Boss alone.

Sincerely,

Not a Fan.

Dear Not A Fan;

Please tell me how and where I can see a Luther Vandross concert. I suspect that'll be quite an experience, considering the soulful crooner died in 2005. Of course Ruby, the grandmother on the hit TV show Black-ish, was right when she proclaimed "There ain't but two things perfect in this world - Jesus and Luther Vandross's first album."

Halleluyer!!!

Also, in case you didn't notice, I agree with you: I don't think we need Congress setting ticket prices. We should let Ticketmaster et al gouge concertgoers with their No Coin Left Behind Tour until there is the inevitable backlash and people can no longer afford to go to shows.

For the Springsteen fans, I actually advised them to fire up a fatty, put on the Nebraska album and have a private show in their living room.

Dear Editor,

Thank you for the great story on Time Out. I took more meals there than I did on campus when I was an undergrad at Carolina. Yes, I remember the Bucket o' Bones they used to sell to broke, hungry students. I think it cost about $3 in the 1980s. It's good to know that they are still available.

Grandpa Joe Biden's economy may have us all searching for bargains like the Bucket o' Bones.

T.E.

Dear Editor,

I read the recent story on the "Womanless Weddings" you used to attend when you were a student at Leak Street School in Rockingham. I also read the story some months back when you wrote about tricking the entire school with a picture of you and President Nixon. That was naughty of you but I laughed and laughed. My wife asked what I was laughing about and I showed her your story on meeting Nixon. We both laughed for 10 minutes.

I don't know where Leak Street School is, but the way you write about it makes it sound like quite a place.

T.L.

Dear Editor,

Thank you for the story on whether or not we should pull over to the side of the road for a funeral procession. I pull over every chance I get when I see one, as long as it isn't dangerous for me to do so. I don't think it takes more than a minute or two to let it pass by and I will bet the people in the funeral procession appreciate the small act of kindness.

S.B.

Dear Editor,

You are upset that people don't pull off to the side of the road when a funeral passes by? That might be a sign of respect, but how respectful is it to the people behind you who have somewhere else to go? If you arrive at work late and explain to the supervisor "I'm late because I pulled over for a long funeral procession to pass by to show respect," I bet he won't say "That's alright."

He will probably dock your pay or say "you're fired."

L.M.

Dear Editor,

Boo hoo. You are mad because people don't pull over for funerals. Boo hoo. You don't live in Mayberry any more and nobody is going to pull over to the side of the road just so a funeral can pass by. You said they pulled over for your cousin's funeral in Rockingham. In case you haven't noticed, Raleigh isn't Rockingham. It's a real city and people have real lives.

P.T.

Dear Editor,

Just read your editorial about the Funeral Procession. Wonderful. I am 75 now and grew up on a farm in South Ga., went to a small Baptist Church down by the riverside. I, like you, always believed it was required by law to stop.

I looked up the Georgia law and found it very complicated. I think it would be interesting to have been a fly on the wall when the legislative committee was hammering out this sucker. If I read it right, I don't have to stop if I meet them, but I can't pass them on a two-lane road. Anyway I, like you, will still stop, out of respect. Thanks for a great article.

C.M.

Dear Editor,

That was a good article about funeral protocol and simple courtesy. I confess that I still pay my respects - when and only when it is convenient.

J.R.

Dear J.R.

I'm sure that holds true for the rest of us, too.

Dear Editor,

You write a lot of stories criticizing Republicans like Mark Meadows, Ron DeSantis and Mark Robinson. All of them are true patriots who have done more for North Carolina and America than you can ever dream of doing. So shut the @#$%& up.

Looking through the Saunders Report for the past year, I have not seen you write one bad story about one Democrat. That's why people have no faith in the FAKE NEWS liberal media, because of people like you.

C.C.

Dear Editor,

You have once again written a #$%#& story about Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson. How many is that now? 10? 20? We get it. You are jealous that he is an accomplished patriot who will be our next governor, and you are just somebody on the sidelines taking potshots at him.

You wrote about his new book coming out. I'll bet you that his autobiography sells more than yours. It's called We Are The Majority: The Life and Passions Of A Patriot. I noticed you did not mention the title in your diatribe against the lt. governor.

M. C.

Dear M.C.,

I don't think I've written anything bad about Lt. Gov. Robinson.

Truthful? Yes, and truth isn't always pretty.

If I didn't mention the title of his book, it wasn't because I didn't want to give it publicity: it's because I didn't know it.

Besides, anyone inclined to read Robinson's book is going to find out the title without my help or hindrance.

Also, neither of my books is an autobiography. Can you imagine anyone wanting to read that?

They are collections of columns I've written over the past 30 years as a columnist. Since you were obviously intent upon giving Robinson's book a push, I'll take this opportunity to give mine one, too: they're available on The Saunders Report website and make excellent Christmas gifts for people you love. Or don't love.

Dear Editor,

So you don't think Governor Ron DeSantis should have sent the illegal Mexican immigrants to Martha Vineyard when they invaded his state, huh? You libs are so predictable. You want to give our resources to anyone who comes into the country illegally but you don't want to help the people who are already here. All Gov. DeSantis was doing was making you libs put your money where your mouth is. It's easy to offer help when someone is 10,000 miles away, but not so much when they show up in your backyard or on your rich people beaches.

L.M.

Dear L.M.,

First, the immigrants didn't show up in DeSantis's state, Florida: he went to Texas and got them. Second, if I recall correctly, the residents of Martha's Vineyard were very welcoming to the immigrants who were - possibly illegally - flown there by DeSantis. Third, it is not 10,000 miles from Texas to Martha's Vineyard: I checked, and it's 2,040 miles.

So, when you decide to go and volunteer to help, you'll know how long a trip to prepare for.

Dear Editor,

I enjoyed the recent piece on Fences, the play at Peace College. The acting was outstanding. The only problem was that you didn't review it before the play. I already knew about it and read your piece after it was over, but I'll bet more people would have come if you had let them know.

T.P.

Dear Editor,

"Bravo" on your story about Lois "Peaches" Hauser Golding, the former UNC cheerleader who was a member of Queen Elizabeth II's court. I really enjoyed your take on Peaches.

M.H.

Dear Editor,

Are you stupid? I can't believe you asked Lord High Sheriff Lois Hauser Golding if the Queen called her "Peaches." Not only that, you bragged that it was your first question, too.

What's it to you what the Queen called her?

What did the Queen call you? Oh, that's right. She didn't call you anything because she didn't know who the #$%* you are. Hahahahahaha.

I attended Carolina with Lois and know she is a lovely young woman. She is too nice to cuss you out, as she should have for asking such a stupid and personal question, but I'm not.

P.C.

Ed. Note: P.C. proceeded to prove that he/she was not too nice to cuss me out.