The candidate you need to clean up this mess is right in front of you.


In a recent whine-soaked column, we decried the way winning political candidates call you, court you and then cavalierly cast you aside after corralling your cash or your vote.

I mentioned, only incidentally, that I once ran for the Rockingham City Council. Even though, as noted, I only received 14 votes, a groundswell of The Saunders Report readers has risen, urging that I run again.

Okay, it wasn't a groundswell: it was four people.

Three?

Two?

Would you believe one?

All right, all right: it was just me - and I butt-dialed myself and figured that since I had myself on the line, I might as well say something.

During my first foray into politics, I was so fresh-faced and innocent that I couldn't even grow a mustache: the one on the poster was drawn on using my aunt's eyeliner. Up close, I looked like Groucho Marx.

Fake mustache or not, Rockingham voters were so unswayed by my Wilson Pickett-inspired campaign slogan - Elect a Man and a Half - that I vowed to never run for office again.

Until now. After listening to the people clamoring for my return, I realized that there is an environmental issue that resonates with the residents of Durham, Raleigh, Chapel Hill and every other municipality that has an election.