Scratching your head trying to think of the perfect gift for that special friend?
Well, Santa Barry says "scratch no more!"
To everyone anxiously awaiting the arrival of the books you ordered from The Saunders Report, we apologize: anticipating increased orders during the Christmas season, we requested five elves to help with packaging, mailing and delivering.
Unfortunately, the staffing agency sent us five Elvises! (Five Elvi?) They could sing and shake their hips, but they didn't know squat about packaging.
All is well now, though, and the warehouse is humming. Here, just in time for the Yuletide season, is the perfect gift*, one guaranteed to give years of reading enjoyment to the bibliophile in your life.
You can get 10 years' of award-winning columnist** Barry Saunders' columns in time for the low, low price of $20, or 20-plus years for $40. That includes taxes and postage.
That's nearly 500 columns on every topic you can imagine.
Operators aren't standing by, but you can get both Do Unto Others... And Then Run and ....And The Horse You Rode In On, Saunders here:
*Also makes an excellent doorstop.
** Psst. Just between us, the award he won the spelling bee in Mrs. Robinson's 6th grade class at Leak Street School in Rockingham (probably because all of the smart kids were out sick that day).
Please send your mailing address to email@example.com, and Santa will have it out the door in time for Christmas.
Also, if you'd like it signed, just tell us to whom.