WARNING: Never go to lunch

with Bucky Waters when you're hungry.

      I made that mistake recently when the former

Duke University basketball coach and I went to a fine

Italian restaurant in Durham, and I realized that after

almost an hour, I'd only eaten a couple of bites.

      Once Waters starts talking about his life, fork and

food may go untouched.

      I picked him up...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDAmPIq29ro

      At the end of the delightfully raunchy movie "Animal House," we see Kevin Bacon in his ROTC uniform trying to calm a horde of panicked people fleeing an out-of-control parade.

      "Remain calm. All is well," he says over and over, ever more frantically.

      Despite what happened to Bacon - he was stampeded by the crowd and left as flat as day-old beer - "Remai...

      A few years ago, my buddy Maurice and I were in an Indianapolis diner, delightfully chowing down on pancakes the size of hub caps. A woman at the table next to us wasn't eating her meal - she was taking pictures of it and, presumably, sending them to her friends and followers.

      "What kind of #*&$% is that?" I sniffed self-righteously. "Who takes pictures of their food or thinks somebody el...